Tinder Match Picks Perfect Time & Place to Flake on Date

In a stunning development uncovered before press time, New Yorker Justin Harbinger set a date with a Tinder match that will he will ultimately cancel on.

Harbinger, 25, has used the dating service for more than two years and has experienced mixed results, only following through on a few dates and canceling on countless more. Even still, his colored history of failure didn’t stop Harbinger from attempting to entice his latest match on the popular dating app, who ultimately acquiesced.

After two days of messaging Tiffany Anderson, 23, with small talk and a few nuggets about jobs, shared interests, and half-witted comments about ski photos, Harbinger decided to take things to the next level, soliciting Anderson’s phone number to text outside of the app itself. Anderson obliged, and soon after Harbinger suggested the two meet up for drinks in Union Square after work Wednesday, completely oblivious to the repetitive, crippling anxiety of meeting someone new following a digital connection that will ultimately lead him to cancel.

“It’s perfect for me, because I work around the corner, and she lives right off the 6 train,” Harbinger said, seemingly excited to go along with this charade of modern love. “That way we can meet up and get home easily.”

Early reports indicate Harbinger’s optimism for the date, with some sources close to the situation describing him as “confident” and “open” to a “one-night stand type of deal” right off the bat. On the record, however, Harbinger remains humble.

“I don’t want to start getting my hopes up or anything like that, but you never know,” Harbinger told reporters as if he wouldn’t flake and actually had a shot at it.

As it turns out, Anderson is no stalwart when it comes to Tinder dates, either. According to reports, she cancels with equal affinity and has already made two backup plans—grocery shopping and drinks with the girls—in the event of Harbinger’s inevitable cancellation.

“I’m really looking forward to it,” Anderson told reporters unflinchingly, never letting slip her secret desire that the whole thing would fall through. “He seems like a really sweet guy.”