By Meredith Schneider
Objectively Bad Hair
Photo courtesy of Creative Commons
Bad hairstyles. We’ve all had them. Thankfully, most of them can probably be chalked up to the way we look when we roll out of bed in the morning. Raise your hand if, on any given day, your hair resembles Kramer’s from Seinfeld, Edward’s from Edward Scissorhands, or a beard from one of the guys on Duck Dynasty.
But sometimes, to fix our hair goes beyond just a simple hairbrush and a weed-whacker. Occasionally, disaster strikes in the form of a bad haircut or color. Even though every now and then the style wearer is at fault for the hair (hello, mullets!), many times the cut ends in tears due to miscommunication. Here, we give you some tips to keep your locks intact—as well as a few horror stories to learn your lesson (and giggle).
Be wary of new trends. If you’re the first to do it (in a salon, at home, or in your group of friends in general), do your research and be cautious.
Alaina Serrone has had a big year. She got married, finished Beauty School, and is about to start her first full-time gig at Salon D’Paul. Unfortunately for her, being bold enough to try a new treatment almost landed her with no hair last summer.
A new product came out that was supposed to bring brunettes to platinum blonde in one easy step. It was a quiet day at the salon and all of the stylists wanted to try out this product. I was the only one willing to give it a go. After 5 minutes of the bleach application my head started burning and smoking. We all ran over to the shampoo bowl to rinse my hair and while the product was coming off my head, so was my HAIR! The only solution was to cut off as much as possible so that my hair would be healthy enough to grow back. After a ton of protein treatments and regular cuts my hair is finally back to a healthy state. Had I not been in a salon surrounded by professionals I would probably have ended up bald!
Be mindful of style changes before big events. Always be ready with a backup plan.
Four years ago, Dominic Calabrese had reason for panic. Luckily, he was quick on his toes. And had jet-black hair.
My mom has her hair license and was trying to get back in the groove and wanted to start cutting again. Well, I volunteered for her to do a little practice on me. One way or another she managed to forget she had taken the guard off the razor while cleaning my neck, and proceeded to move along with a regular haircut. Immediately after the razor touched my head it felt awfully short, and within seconds my mom started crying hysterically. I knew I was in for an unpleasant surprise. As she walked away saying “sorry,” I went to the bathroom to see I had a perfect square patch directly above my ear that was completely shaven. To make it burn even more I had my senior homecoming less than 7 days away. After realizing there was no way to fix the hole in my head, I began to improvise. For the next week, and however much longer it took for my hair to [grow] back to normal, I would take a shitty bottle of mascara and apply it to the bald spot in my head. Surprisingly the mascara worked wonders since I have jet-black hair.
If you’re going for a big change, take your time.
Larissa Fitzgibbons isn’t the only one who has experienced the pain of short hair shock. But she is the one with the quick story to tell.
I went from long hair to a pixie cut in like 10 minutes, and the girl warned me that the shock sometimes freaks people out. I was all, “Pssh, that’s ridiculous.” Ten minutes later I was in tears, screaming that I looked like Peter Pan. But after the shock wore off I kind of dug it! But the shock freak out is a real thing.
Beware of the mullet.
People go through rock ‘n’ roll and punk stages, and choppy layers come with the territory. Unfortunately, as Jenna Tsarpalas has experienced, not all of our stylists are careful enough to warn us of the crazy possibilities.
I tried to get an edgy haircut in high school that resulted in me looking like a 12-year-old boy with horrible style. Even better, to get rid of the mullet I had to get my hair cut again. So it was like 2 inches long.
It’s time to face reality. Not every haircut looks good on every face shape. Not every style will turn out exactly how we want it. Bleach is scary. We can avoid disasters if we avoid impulse decisions. Want a haircut now? Google it really quickly to get an idea of what you want. Find out if the cut will flatter your face shape. Take examples to your hairdresser. If you’re going for a big change, ask them to take their time and show you in increments so you don’t go into shock.
Inquire about styling products and what to look out for with your hair texture. Before “choppy layers” ALWAYS warn them that you do not want a mullet (provide visual aids for reference). If you do not have a regular stylist that you go to continuously and trust with your mane, make sure you tell them about your hair texture and problems you might have had in the past. Even if you do have a regular stylist, things can go awry. Remember that your hair is in your hands… except for in the literal sense. Physically, it’s in theirs. And that’s scary.