Things That Suck the First Time Around - First Time Week


Photo by RelaxingMusic.

Some things are only good with time. Whether they need to be broken in, perfected or are simply an acquired taste, many of life’s seemingly wonderful experiences often are completely horrible the first time around. In fact, they’re so bad, it’s almost questionable whether or not to proceed further. Nevertheless, these first rounds can be trial runs or previews – you’ve got to fully embrace them to appreciate their worth. Alternately, stamina may be at issue or you may need training to acquire skills that come with practice.

In the case of the following items, don’t give up right away. All are worth another shot and most ultimately turn out to be great.

Here’s our list of 12 pretty awesome things that suck the first time around.

1. Sex

The first few times are just a mess, and severely lacking in pleasure – it’s never as smooth as it looks in the movies. Perhaps the confusion lies in unrealistic expectations, but this is one item that definitely improves with practice and a couple instructional books.

2. Alcohol

Remember how horrible the first sip of your parents’ beer tasted? Yet now, it’s hard to go a day without a cocktail. Drinking alcohol goes through stages, but after the first rounds and the sweet years, it eventually becomes a most appealing treat.

3. Riding a Bike

The struggle to get off training wheels and not scrape your knees is most kids’ worst nightmare. Luckily, mom and dad are genuinely happy to be there to catch the first-timer’s fall.

4. Exercise

Some people may always find this to be a miserable experience, but assuredly, the first mile is the hardest.

5. Green Vegetables

All green vegetables are stigmatized among youngsters – they associate bright colors with candy and leafy clumps with grass. If kale is any testament however, the vegetarian explosion has made garden roots a delicacy item these days, and once you learn how to “butter them up,” even the little ones will find healthy foods delicious.

6. Public Speaking

Not everyone improves, but rarely does anyone nail it initially. The pressure, the intensity, the eyes staring at you – practice on your friends at the very least.

7. Citizen Kane

Because it was made in 1941, to the modern movie-goer, this classic American film is terribly boring. But take a second look at the historical context and revolutionary techniques, and the nostalgic appreciation will set in.

8. The First Draft

It doesn’t matter if you’re F. Scott Fitzgerald, a rough draft of a piece of writing is guaranteed to be a.) too long; b.) typo-laden; c.) disorganized. Don’t even let another eye look at it until you’ve made it to draft two or three.

9. A New Job

The first day on a new job is never good. You don’t know the protocol or the people; your desk isn’t arranged the way you like it; you spend hours creating log-ins and learning how to use the printer; and something always gets fucked up. Really, the whole first week can be a source of frustration, but if the job is good, time will make it comfortable.

10. A Split and/or Cartwheel

Kids always think they’ve got it down right away, but in all likelihood it takes at least a dozen practice rounds before these pseudo-gymnastic moves ever look impressive. Plus, it’s just not wise to go full-on spread eagle until you’ve eased into it.

11. New Shoes

All new kicks have to be broken in – heels, sneakers, even flip flops – it’s simply the rite of passage. Ask your feet, they will concur.

12. Yoga

No one can pull off the warrior pose on the first try, but it’s certainly entertaining to watch first-timers give it their best effort.