Heretical Childhood Movie Sequels - Child Week
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS Courtney Garcia

A sequel to Little Mermaid? Dumb and Dumber To? Sigh. Some things are best left untouched. Nevertheless, those in Hollywood don’t always feel the same way when it comes to reviving many of America’s cherished childhood movies. Lately, previous 2-D Disney movies are getting added dimensions — some have even found successors — and old-school cult comedies are being pulled out from the attic to continue their stories onward.

The revival arrives not without the protest of fans and movie critics, of course, most of which pale in the face of monetary gains and prefer treasuring their past in its purest form. Nevertheless, for all the qualms and gripes, some sequels made it past the drawing board and onto the big (or small) screen anyhow. Here are four that shouldn’t have been, hopefully never will be, or were so mildly successful they tarnished the brand.

The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea

Image courtesy of q8animeshop.com.

An instant straight-to-DVD classic, Disney tried to revive Ariel and friends in 2000, bringing baby Melody into the picture of Ariel and Eric’s family. Not surprisingly, while mom sought the land of the free, Melody preferred the sea and devised her quest accordingly. No one was asking for it, but the animation behemoth also released Little Mermaid III later, so as to create as trilogy set for fans, but this was one fish story that was best left solo and out of water. Most critics on Rotten Tomatoes found the new rendition a wasted effort (it earned a 43% score on the Tomatometer), yet some did see the bright side.

“It’s not a bad movie, mind you, but if you’ve seen The Little Mermaid it feels like a knock-off,” writes James Plath of Movie Metropolis.

“Charming, if markedly less magical,” says David Cornelius of DVDTalk.com.

Conversely, Jim Careter remarks, “Ruined the first, it was really bad and boring, they make these DVD’s to screw us out of our cash.”

A Christmas Story 2

Image courtesy of collider.com

Like The Little Mermaid, this sequel will never get past the home movie aisle in Best Buy. While the beloved holiday stalwart was made back in 1983 and everyone still watches it like it was yesterday, the reboot takes place only a few years later despite the fact the decades in real-time and nostalgia don’t apply. Fans of the original didn’t let this one slide by without voicing their wrath when the trailer hit the web in September.

“Ralphie’s is back and now he’s a bigger kid with an even bigger wish,” the trailer points out, revealing the new object of Ralphie’s affection – a car.

Enthusiasts beg to differ.

“My childhood has just been raped in the worst possible way,” writes YouTube user MikeJS81. “Bob Clark is turning in his grave! I really want to cry!!!”

“I hate everyone involved with this. You should all feel horrible about yourselves,” says Tyler Horne.

“Official Sequel, my ass,” comments ToniMichelleful. “Bob Clark and Jean Shepherd have both been dead for years. Without their involvement, there is no sequel. Besides which, there already was a sequel that came out in 1994. It was called My Summer Story.”

Ghostbusters 3

Image courtesy of moviecarpet.com

For most of 2012, film bloggers have been buzzing back and forth, passing on rumors that Ghostbusters 3 was not only a thought in the works, but definitely happening. The catch in this case is there will be no sign of Bill Murray, which, really, is more than a catch but a sign to throw in the towel. First of all, the original and its sequel were both ‘80s classics, so reviving the series nearly 15 years later will be weird no matter what you do, as every buster will be forced out of retirement. In February, however, Dan Aykroyd hinted in an interview that both he and Rick Moranis were down for the count.

“If we can get the script to Ghostbusters 3 right, then it would definitely have Moranis as a major component,” Aykroyd said in an interview, reports NBCNews.com. “None of us would want to do the movie without having him as a participant.”

Murray had his own response to the proposed project: “No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts.”

Dumb and Dumber To

A fancier cover to the original than you remember. Image courtesy of etsy.com

Okay, so Jim Carrey’s got a little more life in him that’s for sure, and the Farelly Brothers have a chance of pulling this off, but still, it’s been almost 20 years and people might be too intelligent now to appreciate a reboot. Plus, it sounds like bureaucratic bickering will lead to a mediocre and poorly crafted product. Entertainment Weekly reported that in April, the directing-duo announced they would begin shooting the production in the fall, and on Wednesday, tweeted that the script had been completed. However, other reports suggest Carrey got irritated with Warner Brothers lack of commitment and backed out altogether.

“I would have thought Dumb and Dumber To was a no-brainer,” Carrey said in a statement. “After all it’s implied in the title.”

Now it’s really all a matter of speculation, but fingers crossed it falls through the wayside.

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