[Rated PG 13 for nudity and drugs.]
This is the kind of story you don’t take home to mama.
Is it possible to age 50 years in just four or five days? Well, that’s how I feel after spending time with The Nude Party in Boone, NC.
The six band members are the funniest guys you’ll ever meet. BTRtoday chatted with them a while back and it was a blast. They roll deep with a huge posse of funny friends so it’s pretty hard to keep the party from starting when you’re hanging out with these guys.
Though mountain boys at heart, they’ve decided to move closer to New York and follow their rock ‘n’ roll destinies. In August, they’ll be moving into a huge house together in upstate New York and will kick off their new lives with a three-night residency at Brooklyn’s Baby’s All Right.
But they couldn’t just leave Boone without a bang. For their last full-week as North Carolinians they threw a raging music festival at their humble homebase, “The Nude Ranch.” The send off was named Send It Week, like these allegedly unrelated YouTube videos.
Boone, NC will never be the same.
Before I continue, let me warn you one last time: this story is one of those sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll stories. So if you’re too square to handle that, you should probably just stop reading right now. I don’t want to be the one responsible for tainting your sweet, innocent, little mind.
If you’re still with me, then I salute you, you badass.
First off, The Nude Party is called that for a reason. To put it in politically correct terms, they’re just very body positive. To put it politically incorrectly, there were dicks and tits everywhere. There were also lots of people abusing substances and making questionable choices. Like, why was that one guy splashing piss on his face, Nude Party? (I’m not sure I really want to know the answer to that actually…)
I only caught the last two nights of Send It Week, but that was enough for me. The trip kicked off with a cramped ten-hour overnight drive with NYC’s Stuyedeyed (stay tuned for the tour diary). The second we arrived we were handed shrooms and directed to a river where about 30 of us instantly formed a ride-or-die inner tube armada while we floated down for what felt like years.
After an epic trip of water gun wars, Bud Lite Lime chugging contests and, of course, dicks swinging around left and right, Stuyedeyed and others played a show at one of the only venues in the small town, Black Cat Burrito.
As a New Yorker able to see a great show every night, it’s refreshing to go to a town that actually gets excited to see live music. The place seemed like a ghost town when we drove through earlier but by the time of the show, a horde of people had gathered out front of the venue smoking cigarettes, chatting and excitedly anticipating the show.
The show ended up starting pretty late because bands kept forgetting equipment and casually figuring their shit out, stress free. So it didn’t start until around 11 p.m. or Midnight. Stuyedeyed still provided their famous surge of energy for the crowd even after driving all night.
When it ended, it seemed like everyone there somehow ended up back at The Nude Ranch. The night raged on until about 4 a.m. when naked bodies started to fall onto random mattresses spread throughout the house and couples scurried off to intimate corners.
The last day of Send It Week, for obvious reasons, didn’t start until around 4 p.m. the next day. The itinerary included a trip into an abandoned football field turned DIY skate park, a swimming hole within a mystical forest somewhere far from the beaten path and, of course, a house show that topped all house shows.
The day was surprisingly drug free (I think), though many Bud Lite Limes were drunk. However, the nudity was inescapable.
When the daytime festivities ended, the night time pandemonium began. The house show, nestled in a beautiful, foggy mountain range, was to be the second-to-last Boone show for The Nude Party, so it was a shoo-in banger.
The lineup included Shasta Ray (Boone), Similar Prisoners, Plastic Pinks (both from Florida) and, of course, The Nude Party. Every band was another ingredient added to the bubbling potion of chaos that everyone seemed to dip into that night.
Despite having to fend with a gritty garage filled with spider webs, mystery stains and a dilapidating ceiling with no air conditioning, show-goers started to strip and crowd surf. Each band was able to get an article of clothing off someone in the crowd just by their raw rock ‘n’ roll.
By the time The Nude Party went on, everyone was missing at least one piece of clothing, if not all. The Nude Party were all stripped down to their birthday suits. At one point, the drummer stood up triumphantly with a drumstick stuck between his butt cheeks, which sent the crowd into a frenzy.
To everyone’s surprise, no cops showed up, and the party was kept alive at The Nude Ranch until all hours. People were up until noon the next day, myself included. The tequila flowed, a bench was lit on fire and the early 2000s jams blasted.
Once you’ve sent it, you’re hooked. There’s no tracking number with The Nude Party. Everyone was lost in the mail. So somehow, after Send It Week had ended, I found myself following The Nude Party to Nashville.
These guys are like Vikings, because even though they just had one of the rowdiest weeks of their lives, they still had the strength to play Fuzz Fest, DJ at Duke’s and spend the entire next day by the pool downing Bud Lite Limes with local Nashville musicians from bands like Daddy Issues, Diarrhea Planet, Cy Barkley and White Reaper (to drop a few names).
Somehow I was able to survive these shenanigans too. I even got to DJ at Duke’s. It feels like Send It is a phrase from a distant memory. Now here I am disheveled at work in a white t-shirt that I forgot to wear a bra under writing about this epic tale that feels like years ago. NYC better brace itself for The Nude Party.
All I can say is everyone really sent it. No returns.
(See more photos here!)