By Tanya Silverman
Photo courtesy of Sven Stjerna.
TV ads have powers to affect their audiences in ways we sometimes don’t even realize. Whether it is getting lousy jingles stuck in our heads, insulting our intelligence, making us confront subtle societal norms, or causing us to contemplate the greater existence of humanity; some commercials transcend the fundamental purpose just to market products or services.
As viewers, most of us probably tune out commercials, or otherwise skip them entirely thanks to home recording technology. But then something happens. Something you never imagined would ever get passed any reasonable advertising board and these impressions still stick out in your memory–be it the slobbery essence of the Snuggie or the sexual innuendos from the Shake Weight.
What were the producers thinking? For some consumers, perhaps the odder the ad, the more they long for the subject that’s being presented. I’m sure you can name a few examples of the weirdest commercials you’ve ever watched, but here are some more to add to your database. Brace yourself.
1. Spazzy Metro Gum-venture
Now, I’ve chewed lots of gum, tried numerous LOTTE products, and even ridden the train in Japan. However, none of these personal instances were ever as amazing as what happens to this man.
Watch with caution: the ad may make you realize the lack of awesomeness in your daily commute, or even how mundane your life is in general.
2. Foul English Lyrics
A wholesome-looking family tunes into a catchy song, and then bobs their heads, gleefully, to a rather explicit English chorus.
Apparently the Dutch commercial was for an ESL school in the ‘90s. Appealing advertising, if you think about it: Learn English, so such situations don’t occur.
3. “IT’S HUUUUGE”
Television watchers in certain sections of the country–like much of upstate New York–can attest to hearing Billy Fuccillo’s loud and proud testimony about his car dealership: “IT’S HUUUGE.” His simple slogan is blurted throughout assorted automobile commercials to emphasize sales and savings.
Fuccillo is not shy to shout it over, and over, and over, as seen in this comprehensive compilation.
4. Cat Lady
Sometimes, you just need a vacation–to travel away, cleansing your mental slate from the burdens of your daily routines and ruts. No matter how much you deserve a break, though, you still bear responsibility for making sure your feline friends are in good hands during your excursion.
Though, hands can only do so much. You seek a caretaker who also speaks their language.
Enter Margaret. She owns a Cat Hotel in Los Angeles, is fluent in Meow, and can even translate their animal utterances into English. Mew?
5. Hawaii Chair
Disgruntled office workers have long expressed dissatisfaction with their unhealthy lifestyles from being at desks all day. They commonly cite assorted studies and statistics about how sitting slouched over is harmful for their back, or lungs, or metabolism, or soul. Even if employees don’t say so themselves, they’re bound to hear something about it from their colleagues, or at least overhear dissatisfied strangers in public.
The Hawaii Chair offers a solution for that stagnancy–through sedentary moving. You can sit on a rotating disk platform that works the core. Imagine, crunching numbers and developing a six-pack, without doing any crunches. If that’s not multitasking, I don’t know what is.
Remember: If you can sit, you can get fit.
6. Speed Fit
Fitness can be complicated. Sometimes, you’re running on the treadmill in the gym, but wish you could be outside in fresh air. Other times, you’re running outside, and wish you could be at the gym, so you could exercise on a treadmill.
Alas, there’s a hybrid: the Speed Fit. It’s like portable treadmill. You can run outside, while on a machine.
7. Krinkles Clown
Nothing says breakfast quite like a clown being born out of a miniature doghouse. Especially when the delectable dish is rice crinkled with both honey and sugar.
Sorry if that made you hungry. Rice Krinkles was only on the market from the ‘50s through late ‘60s.
8. Coke Keeps You Thin (According to Coke)
An attractive “waistline-watcher” unveils her secret to her slim shape: Coca Cola. No more calories than half a grapefruit, she says.
Well, for all of the problems with the abundance of social-media usage these days, at least the Coca Cola company can find public backlash for their corny ads.