Image by Esther Kirby.
Starting today, we at BreakThru Radio are proud to bring you a Dirty Week that begins in spectacular fashion. To kick things off, we sit down with Mistress T, a professional dominatrix working in the New York, New Jersey, and greater metropolitan area. She joins us to shed light on this seldom discussed profession, and the larger world of (legal) sex work in modern society.
Before we begin, though, it’s worth mentioning the excerpt below is NSFW and likely neither will be the complete interview airing this Thursday on BTR’s premier current events podcast, Third Eye Weekly. But that shouldn’t stop us from keeping our minds open and satisfying some tantalizing curiosities, right? Enjoy.
BreakThru Radio: As a professional dominatrix, where do you work, exactly?
Mistress T: I do freelance work but I also work in a dungeon in South Street Seaport. It’s www.seaportsiren.com, and it’s called Jezebel’s NYC. They’ve been in business for about 16 years.
BTR: And how long have you been doing this line of work?
MT: I’ve been a pro-dom for about 5 years.
BTR: Would you consider dimming sex work in a way?
MT: Absolutely. It’s a mental sexuality even if it’s not a physicality.
BTR: Can you explain what you mean by that?
MT: So you have certain people that have sex with their partner, and it’s a normal physical act — what we would consider normal or “vanilla” sex — and they have an emotional gratification and they a physical gratification in the form of orgasm. And that’s normal for them, but most of my customers have other needs to come to an emotional or physical completion or gratification for themselves. So they need to be stimulated by pain in order to be able to cum, or they need to be emotionally stimulated by fear in order to feel gratified. So it really runs the gamut in that, no one person falls into any one type of pain. Like you can’t say, ‘You may have a high pain tolerance but you may not feel emotionally gratified if you’re not being demeaned.’
BTR: So what kind of services do you offer? Do you specialize in any sort of domination?
MT: At my dungeon we offer everything that’s not illegal in the state of New York. So no dildo work, but we do everything else. We’ll do suspension, spanking, role play, corporal punishment, bondage — all that kind of stuff. My personal preferences, though, would be definitely torture and smothering — asphyxiophilia, I love that.
BTR: Smothering with like, your boobs or…?
MT: Yeah, we could do boobs! I got big boobs. But I find that because I have a 56-inch ass, that most of my customers that come to see me for smothering really want their face sat on.
BTR: So I’m gathering you can’t penetrate them.
MT: Correct. That’s actually, I believe, the law in New York state — penetration. So certain things, like, we don’t any blood play, piercing play, animatic scenes — we can get inside your head, but we can’t get inside anywhere else.
BTR: So they can cum?
MT: They can basically do whatever their dom lets them do in that room. So if they bring they’re own stuff and they’re doing their own thing, provided that their dominatrix says, ‘Yeah, you know what? Go ahead and do this to yourself.’ Or sometimes, they want to be ordered to do things to themselves, and I think that’s partially that emotional blockage that they have from [being] a kid. [Their parents] were always going “Don’t do this, don’t do that, you’ll get in trouble for this. What will people think if they find out you did that?”
So these guys come in there and they’re like, “What would people think if I did this to myself? Oh, well, the dominatrix told me to do it.” And there’s some psychological switch that they’re allowed to flip because they’ve been told for all these by all these people they love and trust that they shouldn’t do things, and now they’re being told by someone they admire and trust that they should do these things. That’s very emotionally gratifying for them.
BTR: So do you always approach it with kind of a psychological aim? Do you try to get in people’s heads?
MT: I approach everything from a psychological or sociological standpoint. That’s just who I am. I never think I know someone just by looking at ’em, because people look at me and they make assumptions about me all the time and they’re always wrong. I look mean and I look whatever, but that’s not who I am. So I always approach it from that standpoint — at work. We’re holistic psychologists. That’s our job.
BTR: Is there a big distinction between Mistress T in a dungeon or Mistress T at the bar with her friends?
MT: Not at all [laughs]. Actually, we hang out in the area of the dungeon a lot and all the locals know us. And that’s who I am. I’m the same person at the dungeon as I am when I’m hanging out with my friends, as I am with my friends, as I am at work. And only because I guess I’m older now I realize that I am in control of all this stuff. I decide where I want to work, I decide who I want to hang out with, I decide where I want to go, and I don’t conform to whatever is going on around me. I am who I am and I go to places that accept me for who I am. I’m not trying to change the status quo, I’m not trying to change at all.
For more, tune into the latest episode of BTR’s current events podcast, Third Eye Weekly, airing this Thursday.