Can Technology Make Dating Easy?

Today’s dating scene is treacherous. Would-be lovers need to navigate the minefield of text communication. Say the wrong thing or misunderstand a text and everything blows up.

WittyThumbs promises to keep those explosions at bay. The service’s panel of experts promises decipher dating text messages.

The WittyThumbs team reads your text conversations and discern the real meaning of incoming messages and suggest effective replies. It’s like having a panel of tech-savvy Cyrano de Bergeracs peering over your shoulder as you text.

Unfortunately, this Cyrano doesn’t come cheap. Free conversation analysis can take as long as 24 hours—too long for a Tinder match to wait. For timelier advice, you can pay $29 for 30 minutes of dating advice from one of the WittyThumb experts or $79 for 120 minutes of advice.

Your flirt game should be off the charts for that time. Of course, when you meet IRL, you’ll be witless without their assistance.

But maybe it wouldn’t be that dramatic of a difference, as it’s questionable how much WittyThumbs’ assistance is truly worth. Their panel of experts seems to mostly be people who’ve worked for other startups. Hardly experts in courtship.

It sounds lame. You’re paying to get advice that a friend could provide for free or the price of a beer. There doesn’t seem to be any specialized information you couldn’t get by Google searching dating sites.

Here are examples of WittyThumb advice given on a text message interaction:

It’s fairly rudimentary advice. Maybe it would help out one of the awkward nerds on The Big Bang Theory. But it’s hard to imagine it helping non-fictional people.

WittyThumbs is a YC-based startup and the first entity to be rolled out by Hermes. I don’t really see a startup taking off with an entire business model centered on giving paid dating text-messaging advice.

So maybe swipe left on this app.