Death to Fake Pockets


By Molly Freeman

Photo courtesy of Bradley Gordon.

Have you ever heard a girl exclaim, “This dress/skirt/coat/pair of pants has pockets!” in a manner that seems too wildly enthused about something as simple as a flap of cloth? Have you ever been that girl? I have.

For the most part, fashion–especially women’s fashion–is about style and appearance over convenience and functionality. For example, the fashion industry rejects the wearing of tights, even in the winter.

However, many of the least functional aspects of women’s fashion filter all the way from the industry’s top minds down to the sales racks at retail stores or second-hand shops. This process was best described for the non-fashionable by Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. The most infuriating of these trends is fake pockets–or a lack of pockets altogether.

Perhaps the biggest injustice about fake pockets is that women are alone in it. No matter how casual or formal menswear may be, men’s clothes always offer enough pocket space for their necessities like a wallet, cellphone, and keys. Their tops, bottoms, and jackets can further fit in nonessential items, be it gum, cigarettes, a large snack, or a small pet.

Why can men tote around all these things on their bodies while women get stuck with fake pockets? Is the superficial appearance of pockets in vogue, but the actual use of pockets deemed unladylike?

Of course, women do have a place to store all of their on-the-go necessities: a purse. But the problem with a purse is that, since there’s so much space, women tend to bring along more stuff than is absolutely necessary. Then we ask ourselves, do we carry so much stuff because we need it all or to fill our purses? (In my case, it’s usually the latter–or some combination of both.)

However, even with a purse permanently attached to my right shoulder, it’s still an exciting day when I stumble across a dress/skirt/coat/pair of pants that is flattering, cute, my sense of style and has pockets, which strikes me as very sad. I long to see the day that younger generations of women aren’t astounded to find clothing that is both fashionable and functional–and has real pockets.