An Ode to Lube

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Last November, the scholarly publication known as Maxim published this gem by UFC champion Ronda Rousey:

“What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy…and you’re not taking your time.”

The sex education community was quick to yank her down off her lube shaming high horse by pointing that that there are a million and one reasons to use lube, whatever your sexual orientation and gender identity may be.

The unfortunate news is that her sex ed fail was by no means an isolated incident. The terrible logic of lube shaming goes as follows: lube is only for gay men doing anal. Women have self-lubricating vaginas and no self-respecting woman does anal. Therefore, anyone having sex with a woman and using lube is doing it incorrectly and/or there is something wrong with her.

Lube is amazing. Lube makes good sex great and bad sex less bad. It decreases genital irritation and pain. It can increase sensation and make orgasms more likely.

Women, don’t heed the lube naysayers. If you like using lube in bed, use lube. You don’t need to qualify why you want to use it; you don’t need to assure your partner of their sexual prowess before reaching for the KY (tangential PSA: KY sucks and you should never use it). I’m speaking particularly to women having sex with men, as society teaches men that if a woman requires or wants anything in bed besides the man’s giant, throbbing penis (lube, vibrators, porn, etc.) then she is a big fat sexual failure.


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