Your Guide to This Fall’s Horror Movie Trailers

We’re a month away from Halloween and the trailers for scary movies are already stepping out of the shadows.

With so many new horror movies on the horizon, how are scary movie buffs supposed to find ones actually worth watching? We want gory, nightmarish, shit to mess with our heads—we even want over-the-top comedic horror films like Zombeavers or Yoga Hosers. But too often you start a movie and the only scare is that you’ve just wasted an hour of your life that you can never get back.

Below are ten trailers of scary movies coming out this fall. From a scale of 1-10, ten being “definitely go see this” and one being “don’t waste your time.” We hope this will help you hack your horror flick list to something worthy this year.

Laughs and Screams:

Killer Sofa

This trailer gets a 9 out of 10 purely based on its ridiculousness. It is about a possessed sofa killing people. I would give it 10 out of 10, but the joke of your couch brutally murdering you might get dragged out too long. Other than that, be prepared to laugh, only pausing for the many jump-scares it looks like it’s filled with.

 

The Drone

The Drone was directed by Jordan Rubin, the guy behind the great horror/comedy Zombeavers. Unfortunately, The Droneit doesn’t look as good as Zombeavers. The idea of a drone going on a killing spree is pretty outlandish but honestly, the trailer makes it just looks boring. I give this one a 2 out of 10.

 

Black Christmas

With girls in slutty Santa costumes set in college Greek life, at first, I thought “hell no, this looks dumb.” But as the trailer went on the story turned female-empowering, bloody and chaotic. It has great potential to become a cult-classic, but still could be too cheesy—7 out 10.

 

New Favorite Fright Flick:

Villains

Pennywise the clown might be Bill Skårsgard’s most well-known horror movie role so far, but this movie might change that. This indie thriller has all the signs of a heart-pumping masterpiece—10 out of 10.

 

Doctor Sleep

If you’re a fan of The Shining the sequel is a must-see. I’m giving this a 9 out of 10. I would’ve given it a 10 out of 10 if The Shining director Stanley Kubrick had lived long enough to direct it.

 

The Lodge

This one definitely looks like the scariest on the list. Its combination of people’s fear of cults and also being stuck in the middle of nowhere seems epic and scarring. You won’t be able to sleep in the dark for a while after seeing this.10 out of 10.

 

Blood Machines

To be honest, I have no idea what this is about, but the combination of science fiction, thriller and horror genres looks epic. And the name Blood Machines alone is enough to put a shiver down my spine. Another film with ultimate cult-classic potential, but could also easily be too confusing—7 out of 10.

 

Eh… :

The Black String

Hello, Frankie Muniz. That’s right, the Malcolm in the Middle child star is all grown up and making cheap-looking horror films now, apparently. To be honest, no disrespect to an actor from one of my favorite childhood shows, but the acting in this just looks terrible. I’m not exactly sure what this is even about. Did he get an STD that’s also a curse or something? I have no idea—3 out of 10.

 

Countdown

An app that kills people? Is it 2011 again? This movie looks so dumb. I’m giving it a 1 out of 10, and the only reason it’s not zero is that it’s probably a good movie to have playing in the background while you’re doing something else.

 

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire

This documentary-style horror movie looks like it could be a good scare. However, it also looks like it could be a cheap student film, it’s hard to tell—5 out of 10.

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