Trump Finally Gives the White Man a Shot

Looks like white people are at last getting a needed leg up.

The White House announced Tuesday that the Justice Department’s civil rights division will investigate and sue universities for discrimination against white kids.

It’s the latest in veiled racism from the whitest White House in history, the same one that’s banned immigrants from specific countries and has a stated preference for “financially stable English speakers.

This affirmative action absurdity is hidden inside legalese. The words “white” or “caucasian” don’t appear in the announcement. Just “race-based discrimination.” You know, the exact thing affirmative action was designed to prevent.

The greatest irony is who we’re talking about here. The entire White House staff got their jobs because their white boss is held to a different standard than his black predecessor. But Trump need only look across the family dinner table to see the perfect example of white affirmative action gone wrong: Jared Kushner.

Harvard accepted the future Trump son-in-law, consigliere, and Brooks Brothers flak jacket model Kushner after his dad donated $2.5 million to the Ivy League school and served on its Committee on University Resources. Kushner parlayed that unearned admission into an unearned position as CEO of Kushner Companies’ real estate holdings, where he proceeded to suck. Among other failures, he overpaid for the commercial building 666 Fifth Avenue just before the financial collapse of 2008. To be fair, with that address, no one could have predicted anything bad would ever be associated with it.

Now he’s installed in the West Wing, an unqualified dunce charged with ending a thousand-year-conflict in the Middle East. That should go well, since Kushner’s asking questions like “what do we offer that’s unique,” that are maybe better suited for pep talks at used car dealerships than peace negotiations.

There are some reasonable arguments about affirmative action’s unintended consequences and beneficiaries. But coming from the Trump administration, those arguments just feel like a racist gotcha. Listen closely and you can almost heart Jeff Sessions’ elfish giggling in the distance. If this were actually a joke, maybe the rest of us would be laughing too.