Twitter is an odd place, where both the darkest internet takes and funniest jokes are born. Sometimes the confluence of humor and darkness reveals something that truly sucks. Just not in the way you might’ve thought.
A Chinese company says its automatic sperm extractor is helping clinics collect semen from donors reluctant to masturbate in a hospital setting. pic.twitter.com/zBqf4wWVQi
— AngryMan (@AngryManTV) April 5, 2019
That’s an SW-3701 Trolley Type Sperm Collector. It’s used in Chinese hospitals and clinics to help sperm donors uncomfortable masturbating in those settings. You can buy one off Alibaba for upwards of $5,000.
The sperm extractor isn’t new, but it’s the perfect viral Twitter content for 2019. The machine is an ideally weird mix of sinister robotic futurism and bizarre erotica. They even have display screens that can show videos to get you in the mood. It’s hard to imagine someone uncomfortable masturbating in a hospital being cool with sticking their dick in a robotic podium. But it’s not hard to meme it.
— Johan Javier (@Johan22) April 9, 2019
— Emmanuella (@moonwalkergurrl) April 7, 2019
Worst episode of Love, Death, and Robots.
— Clint Weathers (@zenrhino) April 9, 2019
And when you’re talking about a machine that literally jerks you off, it’s important to remember that the simplest jokes are the most effective.
If you build it, they will come.
— Voysov Reason ? (@VoysovReason) April 9, 2019