The Sperm Extractor That Flooded Twitter

Twitter is an odd place, where both the darkest internet takes and funniest jokes are born. Sometimes the confluence of humor and darkness reveals something that truly sucks. Just not in the way you might’ve thought.

That’s an SW-3701 Trolley Type Sperm Collector. It’s used in Chinese hospitals and clinics to help sperm donors uncomfortable masturbating in those settings. You can buy one off Alibaba for upwards of $5,000.

The sperm extractor isn’t new, but it’s the perfect viral Twitter content for 2019. The machine is an ideally weird mix of sinister robotic futurism and bizarre erotica. They even have display screens that can show videos to get you in the mood. It’s hard to imagine someone uncomfortable masturbating in a hospital being cool with sticking their dick in a robotic podium. But it’s not hard to meme it.

And when you’re talking about a machine that literally jerks you off, it’s important to remember that the simplest jokes are the most effective.