The Mysterious Wet Women of Stock Photographs

Earlier this summer, I noticed a curious phenomenon in stock photography: woman misusing everyday objects in bizarre ways. That realization led me to a second strange trend in stock photos: woman covered in strange liquids. I found numerous photos of women’s faces covered in water and brightly colored ooze of indeterminate origin.

Two questions quickly arose: why were they taken and who were they meant for?

Obviously, the whole thing seems sexual. It’s further proof that we as a culture still don’t know what to do with women’s bodies if not sexualizing them. But beyond that uncomfortable cultural truth, it’s impossible to divine the purpose or meaning of the photos.

This Woman in Pink Ooze

Somehow a huge glob of pink ooze ended up on her face. While it seems like an unpleasant situation, she looks resigned to it for some reason. It looks like somebody just came on her face without permission or warning and she was strangely stoic about it.

But Later She’s Into it For Some Reason

In this picture, she seems to be deriving deep satisfaction from being drizzled in pink liquid. It’s really confusing. We’re not slut-shaming, just asking why?

This Woman Frozen in Carbonite

Okay, it’s probably not carbonite. But it definitely has a Han Solo at the end of Empire Strikes Back feel. But at least we got to see Han’s arms. Why is this woman so covered in white stuff (milk, perhaps)? Seriously, all I see are lips and nostrils. Does this woman have a body?

This Water-Drenched Woman

Please take note of the photo tag “refreshment.” This woman does not look refreshed. She looks wet and possibly surprised.

Women Drooling Radioactive Paint

These women look like they are secreting succubus poison from synthetic lips. Which, come to think of it, is probably what it’s meant to look like.