The ‘Christmas Prince’ Movies Are Perfect Garbage Holiday Content

Hallmark holiday movies are never great. The writing and the filmmaking are always a little off and the actors often look a little embarrassed. But A Christmas Prince and its new sequel The Royal Wedding are a special kind of bad.

Both movies follow simple premises. New York-based tabloid journalist Amber is commissioned to write a story about fictional country Aldovia’s royal family. She poses as a tutor for the disabled princess, gets close to the prince and falls for him. She’s forced to decide between writing a career-defining bombshell story and true love. In the sequel, Amber’s a queen and a celebrity blogger (lol), Queen Amber struggles with pushing back against rigid Aldovian traditions while trying to solve the country’s inexplicable economic crisis.

The Christmas Prince movies are complete trash. The plotlines are ridiculous. The sets are gaudy. The dialogue doesn’t remotely resemble actual human interaction. And that’s what makes them impossible to turn away from. They’re like The Room of Christmas movies.

People don’t want to think about real life problems during the holidays. Holidays aren’t about worries. It’s the time of year for gift giving, romanticized traditions and overeating. People are busy running around, endlessly shopping and stressing out over family gatherings. The last thing Netflix-and-chillers need is a reminder of actual consequences. Just give people a love story and a hot prince and they’ll be happy.

If your ultimate fantasy involves being whisked away by a debonair and exotic prince, this is the movie for you. Love prevails over everything, from lying to treason. We’re sure Melania Trump would love it.

And for the rest of us who don’t take Hallmark movies seriously, the Christmas Prince saga provides easy targets for mockery. Everything about both movies, from dialogue to set design, is roastable. Even small details are comical—just look at the notes Amber takes while investigating the fake country’s problems during The Royal Wedding.

 

As it turned out, the country’s economic downturn was due to the king’s uncle funneling government money into an offshore corporation. The crisis undermined the new king’s modernization efforts, described only as “investing in tech and education.”

Read those two sentences again. The movies’ universe is so blissfully simple and detached from reality that you can’t help but laugh. One dude tanked the entire economy by skimming off the top and a plucky tabloid journalist-turned-queen broke the story wide open through a single interview she annotated by writing “fishy” in a notepad. If you can’t enjoy that kind of corny ineptitude, good luck getting through the next few weeks of awkward family dinner conversations and the forced frivolity of office holiday parties.

The Christmas Prince saga is perfect if you need a break from reality or something to relentlessly make fun of for a few hours. Sure, it’ll rot your brain and feed your worst impulses. But isn’t that what the holidays are for?

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