Fully vaccinated people don’t need to wear a mask in public. That’s the new CDC guidance, and for many, it’s thrilling. For more than a year we’ve worried about remembering our masks when we leave the house and keeping them on wherever we go. And now, for vaccinated folks at least, all that’s over. As the guidance reads, you can go back to doing the things you normally do.
To be clear, you should still wear your mask in public if you’re immunocompromised. Or if it makes you feel safe, or any other reason that’s compelling to you. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to wear one if that’s what you want to do. COVID-19 variants are still spreading and millions are still unvaccinated. Wearing a mask doesn’t hurt anyone—in fact, quite the opposite.
But since the official government agency in charge of this stuff says it’s okay to go without one, people are rightfully gonna celebrate. And on Twitter, people celebrate the only way they know how: the CDC announcement joke format. Is it hokey and played out at this point? Probably. But we’ll never have this moment again (hopefully, god, please), so we need to enjoy it—corny jokes and all.
First, let’s pay our respects to the TikTok anthem of the moment, courtesy of TikTok user @brandonfoley74.
It's time pic.twitter.com/D1FKs7pm2Q
— UConn: It's Coming (@NoEscalators) May 13, 2021
Okay, wow. Chills. Here’s the rest of ’em.
— jason c. (@netw3rk) May 13, 2021
cdc guidance says the boys are officially back in town
— Tim Marcin (@TimMarcin) May 13, 2021
CDC said I don’t have to wear a bra ever again either
— Ayo Edebiri (@ayoedebiri) May 13, 2021
the cdc feels like the new yahoo answers
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) May 13, 2021
Don’t care what the doctors say I refuse to touch or kiss my girlfriend until the case count is 0. https://t.co/2K6zZA2frz
— Adam Friedland (@AdamFriedland) May 13, 2021
I should probably continue wearing a mask to these bank robberies but I don't want the hostages to think I'm a libtard
— Justin (@coomsicle) May 13, 2021
CDC UPDATE: if you're fully vaccinated, the only "mask" you need to wear in public is the elaborate system of defense mechanisms you've built around your true self out of fear that if people knew the real you they'd decide that you're not worthy of love
— Erin Jab Enthusiast Ryan (@morninggloria) May 13, 2021
The CDC says you can now be 3 feet apart but must remain emotionally distant
— harper-rosé (@HarperRoseD) May 11, 2021
new CDC guidelines say it is now safe for a hot man to fall madly in love with me, build a life with me, buy me pretty things, etc
— chelsea (@cee_ryan) May 13, 2021
ACDC guidelines now say living easy and loving free get you a season ticket on a one way ride
— Sopan Deb (@SopanDeb) May 13, 2021
The CDC says you have to do exactly what you promised in your “me and the boys after we get the vaccine” post
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) May 14, 2021
the CDC says its important to absolutely blast the shit out of each other with particles again as soon as possible pic.twitter.com/JWg1Oj8gAv
— georgia-lux (@troughofluxury) May 13, 2021
The CDC has announced that you’re going to feel weird leaving the house without a mask for 6 months.
— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) May 13, 2021
CDC has announced the mask stays on during sex
— Chauncey Sugarsweets (@CSugarsweets) May 13, 2021
The CDC has announced that tickle fights with the fellas are once again allowed
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) May 13, 2021
the CDC says fully vaccinated people can go back. back to the beginning. back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned. 'cause perfect, didn't feel so perfect. trying to fit a square into a circle was no life. I defy… let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
— gabe bergado (@gabebergado) May 13, 2021
CDC says fully vaccinated people can stare at the blank page before them, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words they cannot find, reach for something in the distance, so close they can almost taste it, release their inhibitions, & feel the rain on their skin.
— Frank Costa (@feistyfrank) May 13, 2021
The CDC says that unvaccinated people can now pretend to be vaccinated
— Mohanad (@MohanadElshieky) May 13, 2021
I don't care what the CDC says, you should still be wearing a mask because I AM AFRAID OF MOUTHS!!!!!!!!!!! SCARY TEETH!!!!!!
— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) May 14, 2021
HUGE news: new CDC guidance stipulates that vaccinated people no longer need to maintain a sourdough starter
— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) May 13, 2021