Pornhub VHS Sextape Helps Seniors Keep it Frisky

Bingo tournaments aren’t the only action at America’s retirement communities. People don’t stop wanting to have sex after 60 and our senior homes are hotbeds of steamy encounters.

As a result, senior homes face an epidemic of STDs. Residents don’t need to worry about pregnancy so many believe they don’t have to practice safer sex. Additionally, many senior care facilities discourage or flatly ban sexual activity. As a result, like when we bar teens from sex and sex ed, they do it anyway but not safely.

Pornhub, the internet porn giant (not to be confused with giant porn) has teamed with Nina Hartley in “Old School,” an educational video aimed at seniors. The full video is available on the Pornhub website and, in a nod to its target audience, VHS. Porn star and sex educator Hartley cheerfully and frankly presents the risks and rewards of senior sex. The whole thing is very Napoleon Dynamite, with a jazzy soundtrack and a retro color scheme that resembles my grandparents’ shag carpet.

Wearing a nursing outfit (not the “sexy” kind; the one nurses actually wear), Hartley explains symptoms and treatments for common STDs like chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV, as well as less known ones like trichomoniasis and scabies. She demonstrates how to put on a condom, using a classy metal dildo straight out of your grandfather’s office.

Hartley also details some of the dangers unique to sex-having seniors, including falling and head injuries caused by knocking the old noggin against the headboard.

“Old School” doesn’t doesn’t aim to stop seniors from having sex. It wants to help them have safer, better sex. The video recommends positions that are safer for sex having seniors than the ambitious acrobatics found in magazines like Cosmo. The Magic Mountain offers a variation on the crowd-pleasing doggy style that calls for the receiving partner to rest their knees with their upper half resting on a stack of pillows. The only danger this one presents is falling asleep because it looks so darn comfortable. Really, this one is perfect not just for seniors but anyone who, like me, enjoys some good ol’ lazy sex.

This is not Pornhub’s first foray into sex education. The site’s education and philanthropic wing, Pornhub Cares, has been producing whimsical content since 2014 like their “Described Video for the Visually Impaired,” their “Save the Balls” PSA about testicular cancer self exams and “Make love, Save Pandas” panda conservation campaign.

After all, there are worse reasons to watch porn than saving pandas.