Please Don’t Be a ‘Suspicious Package’ for Halloween

The #MAGAbomber didn’t kill any of the media outlets or politicians he targeted. But he’s still capable of killing a buzz at a Halloween party.

You might think that no one is dumb enough to come to a a Halloween party dressed as a suspicious package. Alas, you’re probably wrong. There’s at least one irony-poisoned schmuck out there eager to wrap himself in brown packing paper and old stamps and stick a bomb wick in his ass.

Don’t be this person.

It doesn’t matter that the bombs didn’t detonate or that the bomber’s van was a FOX news chyron on wheels. They were literal assassination attempts of prominent Democratic politicians, including two former presidents. And all that came before this weekend’s shooting at Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. Nobody wants to joke about right wing extremist terrorism right now. You’ll be a walking reminder of our descent into political and societal hell.

And while you’re a walking buzzkill, the costume idea itself sucks. You’ll spend the whole night explaining the concept to everyone at the party.

People attend Halloween parties to have fun. You’re bound to see some political costumes, sure, but even the best ones are too high concept to enjoy. And we all know the idiots wearing a MAGA hat or a Trump mask as their costume barely made the party cut in the first place.

So please, for the love of God, don’t dress up as a suspicious package this Halloween. It will absolutely blow up in your face.