Mooch, we hardly knew ye.
White House Communications director Anthony Scaramucci resigned Monday afternoon, a mere 11 days after accepting the position. In fact, he wasn’t scheduled to begin until August 15, meaning he quit before he even started.
I have to go now. My planet needs me. pic.twitter.com/EOxIxHhEP1
— Michael Sweeney (@mtsw) July 31, 2017
The Mooch’s tenure was shorter than Trump’s attention span, but, boy, it ran hot. In a week and a half in the spotlight, Scaramucci made poorly disguised sexist comments, cited Joe Paterno as an example of honor and incepted gross and contorted images about Steve Bannon into America’s brains.
His personal life fell apart faster than his federal employment. As the world was introduced to the Mooch, his wife filed for divorce due to his “naked political ambition.” He also missed his son’s birth, opting instead for a congratulatory text.
his family, company, and White House job all gone, the mooch couldn't help but wonder: "what if I did try to suck my own dick?"
— Emmett Rensin (@emmettrensin) July 31, 2017
And just like that, the greatest 11 days in the history of the White House Press Office have come to an end.
We got a decent amount of swearing, too much gesticulation and little actual information (as usual). The American people are left wondering what an on-camera Mooch-implosion might have looked like, or how much longer it would’ve been until he called a female reporter the c-word.
Where does the White House go from here?
How do you top The Mooch? Alex Jones? Cernovich? Bobcat Goldthwaite in character as Zed from Police Academy?
— Matt Christman (@cushbomb) July 31, 2017
Any one of those is a viable replacement, but none of them have the extra on The Sopranos appeal of the Mooch. Scaramucci was Trump’s id personified. He waved and cursed and smooth-talked his way into a powerful position at the displeasure of almost everyone around him. He bullied his rivals, alienated his family and became a reviled figure of Long Island farce in less than two weeks.
It’s no wonder what Trump saw in the guy.
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) July 30, 2017
Sadly, the Scaramucci Show is over. Now what will we pay attention to? If only we had more serious things to worry about.