Megyn Kelly’s Terrible at Being Nice

Megyn Kelly is done with politics—or so she says. So now she’s doing what we ladies do best: being clumsy but pretty.

Watching Kelly on Fox News was always a fun time. Sure, her politics are heinous and she bred the worst kind of conservative feminism, but she was good to hate-watch. Now it’s genuinely uncomfortable watching Megyn Kelly Today, waffle between criticizing Harvey Weinstein’s sexism and giggling over shoe racks and baby bumps.

A recent episode featured clips of Weinstein sympathizer Donna Karen. Kelly hopped on board the feminism train by criticizing Karen’s remarks about how women accusing Harvey Weinstein of harassment are “asking” for “trouble” by dressing like sluts. She criticized Karen for spending time tearing other women down instead of fighting against shitty men doing shitty things to women.

But then this was Kelly’s big “well guess what, Donna” moment: “Let’s be perfectly clear right now: WOMEN SOMETIMES MAKE BAD FASHION CHOICES [her emphasis]” she half-yelled to the camera. “Including at the office,” she went on, to laughter as she herself cracked a smile at her little funny. “This does not invite their own harassment. Period. End of report.”

What an impotent attempt at third-wave feminism. Not even women in pleated pencil skirts and clashing patterns deserve to be unwillingly masturbated at?

Somebody call Gloria Steinem.

Another segment of the episode featured Valerie Bertinelli teaching Kelly how to make alcoholic beverages. The bit was riddled with Kelly joking “alcohol, amirite girls?” And then accidentally pouring an entire shaker of margarita into a glass without straining it, lending an “aw shucks look at my little goof” moment between her, Bertinelli, and the audience. Adorable. Women and their klutziness, right?

The following morning, Kelly discussed the incriminating Weinstein tapes with legal analyst Ari Melber. Bits of her old self came through, like when she asked how his board of directors didn’t know about his behavior, as they claimed.

“This is a clarion call for their industry,” she said. “These other movie shops and companies need to be introspective. Now is the time to clean shop and get honest about what’s been going on in there, as documented by these actresses who have come out and said this is … many of them have experienced a climate like this, where they thought they had to shut up and do what was asked of them in order to get parts and continue working.”

Yes, so true. So woke. Then, this:

“In much more pleasant news, we wanna tell you about a big sighting of a little bump in the U.K.”

As in another royal baby.

It wasn’t an unusual juxtaposition for a daytime talk show. But watching Kelly transition from “biggest sexual harassment scandal in Hollywood” to “ladies, we got another royal baby!” is a uniquely unpleasant experience. After all, Kelly once interrogated the most repugnant man in modern political history. These days, she’s watching Kate Middleton’s abdomen for signs of kicking.

The only feminist cred Kelly ever had was being what New York Times op-ed columnist Batya Ungar-Sargon called “that most unusual of unicorns: an unlikeable woman on television.” She peddled racist narratives about Black Lives Matter and White Santa. She was a political hack pretending to be unbiased. But her existence on the network was notable because was a visible woman with strong opinions and a high salary. Now, she’s simply a woman who can’t pour a margarita right.