Matt Gaetz is Headed for Greener, Dumber Pastures

Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz is “seriously considering” early retirement to take a job at Newsmax, a rightwing news network, according to a new report from Axios,

A fairly well-known politician willingly giving up his congressional seat for a cushy cable news job is somewhat surprising on its face. But in Gaetz’s case, it shouldn’t shock anyone.

Gaetz stays committed to the bit. He burst onto the political scene as Trump’s lap dog and has remained loyal. Since Trump’s defeat in November, Gaetz has carried on the former president’s election fraud claims in Congress and cried about not being able to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in one of his committees. Dumb stunts designed to make Democrats (or Liz Cheney) look bad are the name of the game. He’s basically a shitposter who also happens to represent a congressional district.

Gaetz is effectively already getting paid to trigger the libs. But if he leaves Congress, he can make more money focusing solely on dumb content while leaving the pretense of governing behind. His presence in Washington is virtually meaningless anyway without his big boss to defend or fight battles for. No one really cares what Gaetz has to say unless it’s stupid enough to drive its own news cycle for a few hours. That should come much easier if he transitions to becoming a full-time media take guy.

Newsmax, meanwhile, would be getting exactly what it’s paying for. Gaetz is a name that can occasionally move the needle, sure. But he’s also someone with direct access to Trump himself. At the very least Gaetz can say that he’s been in the room with Trump and knows what the former president is thinking. It doesn’t matter how true the claim actually is or whether he and Trump are still on speaking terms.

The writing has been on the wall for Gaetz for some time. His antics and buffoonery just don’t have the same juice without Trump in office. His Pledge of Allegiance stunt was arguably the nadir of political shitposting. Gaetz and others who sycophantically hitched their wagon to Trump realize they can only create political capital through mind-numbing content. It’s the same reason cancel culture cry-babying crescendoed at a ridiculous pace.

Gaetz isn’t expected to do anything for his constituents, but he is expected to bring the lib-triggering heat rock on a regular basis. Gaetz is no stranger to acting like a complete idiot, and that lack of shame is exactly what will enable him to keep churning out these feigned offenses week after week until something sticks. In the process, he’ll likely significantly raise his political profile and use whatever points he scores to seek higher office down the line.

Gaetz’s early retirement would be a good thing, at least in theory. A district that elected him to Congress twice could easily elevate someone equally dumb or worse. But it would allow Gaetz to live out his destiny as a career lib trigger-er, even if it’s on a network that virtually no one cares about. A few viral hits per month will make it all worth it.

And when he’s being sworn in as president in 2028, we’ll wonder why more Trump sycophants didn’t leave Congress for cable sooner.

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