I Re-Watched ‘The Room’ And It’s Tearing Me Apart

It’s the worst movie in the world, it is… Oh, hi Mark.

After seeing the trailer for The Disaster Artist,  a movie telling the epic story of creating The Room, I knew it was time to rot my brain with The Room once again. Who knew a film comprised completely of horrible dialogue, pointless scenes, awful green screen and the worst acting ever filmed could be so enjoyable?

Watching The Room, you’ll wonder if these people are for real. And yes, yes they very much are. The Room is so awful that it has gathered a huge cult following. Even though it’s so unmistakably terrible, it seems as though everyone who worked on this film took it 100 percent seriously, which just makes it even more unbelievably hilarious.

It’s a constant struggle just to understand what’s going on, even when you’re watching it for the second time. Scenes cut after revealing dramatic story points that never get mentioned again; people go from calm to hysterical in zero seconds; and there are about a dozen sex scenes that threaten to burn your eyes.

From what I can piece together after repeat viewings, the plot is about a relationship that’s supposed to be “perfect” that’s ruined when the girl gets bored and strays and does some other crazy shit.

If you just watch the highlights you get a pretty good idea, too. But seeing a few of the best (worst) scenes will not even come close to ruining the plot—mostly because most of the scenes make no sense. Like, why does the mom drop that she has breast cancer like it’s no big deal and then never mention it again? There’s also a random scene where one of the supporting characters gets in trouble with a drug dealer and then, again, is never mentioned.

Why Tommy Wisseau, why?

The most (in)famous scene is the one most recently used in the trailer of The Disaster Artist—a mockumentary on the making-of The Room starring James Franco. The original scene is so bad that it just renders you speechless, and holy shit, Franco captures it so well in the trailer. Watch to compare them below.

See what I mean?

Re-watching The Room made me so heckin’ excited for The Disaster Artist. They already seem to be nailing it.

Other scenes that got me pleading with the television to just please stop (other than all the painfully awkward sex scenes) are as follows: When Johnny, the main character, calls his fiancée Lisa, his “princess.” When Johnny goes to buy a dozen roses and the twenty-second scene is crammed with as much dubbed-over dialogue as possible. Any scene on the roof with the terrible low-budget green screen in the background. When Johnny goes from zero to one hundred really quick and yells, “you’re tearing me apart!” Whenever Johnny calls someone a chicken and then proceeds to make “chip, chip, chip” noises. And any scene where they throw a football around. Just why?

But also, the entire film…

Honestly, it’s hard to give The Room justice using only words. The entire film is so bad that it actually boggles the mind. By the end, there are so many questions swirling in your mind that you don’t even know where to begin.

It’s probably best to just embrace it.