The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) still has guidelines for those who have received the COVID-19 vaccine. They still recommend wearing masks, keeping social distance, and trying not to gather in large groups. A year into the pandemic, though, people can’t help themselves. The vaccine represents some level of freedom and relief for most people—they want to get outside, move around, and start living some semblance of their pre-pandemic lives.
But the CDC guidelines felt just a little too stiff—almost like it was asking to be parodied. And it was. By everyone.
Even if you’re fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends that your meeting should've been an email.
— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) April 15, 2021
The jokes aren’t just because people don’t believe in the post-vax guidelines. They’re more likely in response to scolds on Twitter demanding people continue to live in lockdown after receiving the vaccine. You know the type—the person saying getting vaccinated isn’t a license to party of do whatever you want. Yeah, that’s true, but it’s been more than a year of this. Twitter vaccine hall monitors aren’t helping anyone.
You what is actually helping people? Corny formatted Twitter jokes. You can take the CDC recommendations in any direction—some are about relatable everyday hijinks, some are political, some are just plain irreverent. But they all get at the sense of general relief that we might finally be near the end of this thing.
Even if you’re fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends abolishing the police.
— Preston Mitchum, he/him (@PrestonMitchum) April 14, 2021
Even if you’re fully vaccinated the CDC recommends doing fist bumps instead of shaking hands because fist bumps are just rad as shit
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) April 11, 2021
Even if you are fully vaccinated the CDC recommends not falling in love with someone's potential
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) April 12, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean it's ok to kiss me beneath the milky twilight. cdc recommends waiting at LEAST two weeks before leading me out on the moonlit floor
— your workplace is not a family 🙂 (@EmmaSpecter) April 8, 2021
Even if you’re fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends you put your clean laundry away, don’t pile it on that one chair for days.
— Andrea Gutierrez (@AndreaGtrrz) April 10, 2021
Even if you are fully vaccinated the CDC recommends you always use the Oxford comma.
— Monica Verduzco-Gutierrez, MD (@MVGutierrezMD) April 13, 2021
Even if you are fully vaccinated the CDC recommends not buying a new blank journal because you already have 12 at home
— Charlie Girard (@charlescgirard) April 10, 2021
Even if you’re fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends that you better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go, you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime
— ?Josh Rubin, MD ? (@DrSandman11) April 11, 2021
Even if you’re vaccinated, the CDC still recommends Joe Biden cancel all student debt by executive action.
— The Debt Collective (@StrikeDebt) April 15, 2021
The CDC recommends that you keep at least 6 feet of distance from Matt Gaetz at all times.
— Jack Cocchiarella ?☠️ (@JDCocchiarella) April 10, 2021
Even if you’re fully vaccinated the CDC recommends finishing some of the books on your shelf before buying new ones
— CiCi Adams? (@CiCiAdams_) April 10, 2021
Even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends you not do one of those “even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends” memes.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) April 12, 2021
Woah, that got a little meta. That’s probably enough. Seriously, listen to this last one and go hydrate. Thanks for reading.
Even if you are vaccinated, the CDC recommends you close all your tabs and drink some water
— Amy Gaeta (@GaetaAmy) April 12, 2021