My Weekend In Food

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This past weekend, I all but disappeared into the depths of THE BEACH. And by that, I mean Far Rockaway; NYC’s premier beach destination for the young and broke, who cannot afford to summer in The Hamptons, Rockaway’s swankier cousin.

I ate a lot of food, some good, some bad. Here’s what went down:

It all began Saturday, with a very long and very hot bike ride. I don’t exercise very much. Scratch that, I don’t exercise ever. So, I decided that before such a strenuous ride I should put some calories, protein, and caffeine into my body.

I hopped into a bodega and grabbed some provisions for my boyfriend and I: two almond milk Califia Mocha cold brew coffees, apples, Red Hot Blue tortilla chips, and a couple of off-brand chocolate peanut butter protein bars.

Exiting the bodega, I ripped into my protein bar. It looked greenish and mealy. I opened the cold brew coffee, thinking I’d wash down the unfortunate bar with some chocolatey coffee deliciousness. Luckily, I was out of the store by the time I took a sip, because the almond milk had gone sour, and the combination of weird protein bar and spoiled milk was enough to make me gag and spit the mixture onto the sidewalk in front of me. Not exactly the strong start that I’d hoped for.

Once we finished our hour-and-change ride to the beach, things were beginning to look up. That is, until my nausea returned with a vengeance. I needed water, and food, and I needed them fast. After aimless wandering, doubled over, I settled upon a taco truck; where I opted for a chicken quesadilla. Why did I think it was a good idea to eat a huge mound of melted cheese on a 95 degree day? Because my hungry mind makes weird decisions that the real me will never truly understand.

Though altogether unspectacular, and–in retrospect–slightly disgusting, at least the grub made me feel slightly better.

I moved on to beer. Then, for dinner, a Cheeseburger with Jalapeños and fries at one of Rockaway’s staple beachfront eateries: Rippers. Finally, something downright delicious that satiated me to my core. Maybe this weekend wouldn’t be a wash after all.

We spent the night at a friend’s very cool, and also very hot, apartment. In the morning it was time for avocado toast and iced coffee from Veggie Island. We threw some Sunshine Juice (Carrot, Orange, and Ginger I think…) into the mix. Now this was the fully balanced breakfast I’d been hoping for the first time around.

By the time lunch rolled around, we figured we’d stick with what we knew. Cheeseburgers at Rippers again! Although this time we opted for Cheese-fries as well. And to round the whole thing out? Micheladas baby, all day long.

The beach was hot, the water was cool, the beer was plentiful. We stayed until the sun began to set. As we hopped back on our bikes, we passed a promising Raw Bar on the boardwalk. Oysters called to us, so we answered by ordering a dozen and scarfing them down along with some Rose.

Come Sunday night, I was sunburned, sore, drunk, and very full. A good weekend indeed.