The Joys Of Drinking Alone

When I first moved into my studio apartment, where I would be living by myself for the first time in my life, I made a rule: I would not drink alone. Arbitrary, of course, but somehow it felt imperative. A social drinker, it was never something I had indulged on my own, and this seemed to me a necessary distinction. Consuming alcohol, I pontificated, was something best enjoyed in the company of others.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

Not all too long after the implementation of the strict decree, I started having some sneaking doubts; “We both know we can’t keep this up,” I said to myself, and then; “Hey, wait, wtf do you mean ‘we both’ it’s just me in here. Hello?” No answer. So I popped a bottle of wine and rationalized that the unreasonable tyrant who had initially declared this prohibition never had to know. “Let’s just keep this between you and me,” I whispered.

Here is a list of things to do alone in your apartment, which are made exponentially more enjoyable after a glass or two of wine.

Showering: Showering feels good. Showering whilst tipsy feels really good.

Listening to music: Another ordinance that I have employed in my home is a “Dance Like Nobody’s Watching” ideology (even though I know that guy who lives across from me is sometimes totally watching). I find that this goes over quite well with a nice Penny Loafer.

Reading: Just kidding, reading while drinking is really hard. But who needs books anyways.

Cleaning: Cleaning sucks. But it’s better with a beer.

Well, there you go, folks, have fun with yourselves! I am my own best friend. Who’s yours?

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