Thanksgiving Drinking Schedule

The Holidays are tough: How does one maintain a hearty buzz without A. Falling asleep, B. Being labeled the family alcoholic or C. Sobering up in time for dessert. The key is variety, and frequency! (Coincidentally, these are also the ingredients for a major hangover the day after, but you don’t have to worry about that right now). Follow this helpful guide for a booze-filled journey to Turkey-town.

8:00am
Wake up bright and early to catch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! And, to have your first drink of course. How about throwing a little tequila, kahlua, and whipped cream into your coffee, for good measure. Something sweet, for the kids!

10:00am
It’s still early, and a little chilly out! How about a hot toddy to warm up your heart and stomach? Heat some apple cider with a cinnamon stick and spike with a hearty helping of whiskey.

12:00pm
Despite your best efforts to hold out until suppertime, you’ve already stuffed yourself with cheese and crackers. And what’s a better accompaniment to cheese than a nice brew? Crack your first beer and park your booty back in front of the TV…for sports, or whatever.

2:00pm
Did you seriously fall asleep on the couch? Wake up! It’s time to bring in the heavy hitters. Helping in the kitchen? Well, stop, you’re drunk and obviously shouldn’t be handling sharp knives.Take a shot of bourbon instead, then look after your baby cousin while his parents make the cornbread. (It’s totally chill to take care of babies whilst under the influence, because it just makes you more on their level.)

3:00pm
You need an Aperitif before stuffing your body full of all of that food. …How about a nice Gin & Tonic to cleanse the palate!

4:00pm
It’s time to eat! And, just as importantly, it’s time for wine wine wine.

6:00pm
Sheesh, that sure was good. Now it’s time for dessert. But first, you need a Digestif! Round out your roster with something colorful and special, like a little taste of Green Chartreuse. Eat your pie and enter total veg out mode. That is, until you recover and hit your second wind and go back to the kitchen for another round of everything!

Featured photo courtesy of Son Of Groucho.

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