The New Rules Of Leap Year Eating

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Once every four years, we are graced with an event that bends the rules of time, and gives us one more precious extra day in the long and winding road we call life…well, kind of.

That’s right folks, it’s leap year!

There’s a whole host of strange traditions surrounding this rare holiday. However, there don’t seem to be any distinct foods reserved for it. So, I figured, why not come up with a few rules for precisely what and how one must eat on Leap Day?

Hereto-forth, I declare, the indisputable laws of dining on Leap Day. Written by me, confirmed by the celestial forces who shine through, guiding me to this enlightened decree. The four cardinal rules of Leap Day, one to represent each year we go without this momentous occasion.

1. Before consuming food of any kind on Leap Day, one must sit smack down on the ground, and exclaim loudly; “Leap-a-dee-do, can’t wait to chew!”
2. Any and all drinks consumed on Leap Day must be chugged in a single go. That goes for coffee, tea, and hot beverages as well. So be careful what you choose.
3. No wine allowed on Leap Day. Sacrifices must be made.
4. Avoid green food at all costs.

Follow these tenets and beware, for there will be dire consequences should you fail. Happy eating!

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