My Free Chipotle Experience

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My heart was broken that fateful day. I had never had a stronger craving for Chipotle in my life. I walked in the cold to the Chipotle down the street, getting ready to run if they were to finally catch me pocketing that magical jalapeño sauce they hoard.

To my despair, they were closed. Of course, my first reaction was to call my mom and ask her why the world is against me. I swear I’m an adult, but sometimes you just need your mom to explain these things to you.

She broke the worst news to me: I could not get Chipotle that day until after 3pm. Which, in my case, meant no Chipotle for me.

My substitute burrito bowl from some no-name place was hardly mediocre and my day was ruined.

Luckily, dear ole’ mother also gave me the news that if you texted a certain number, Chipotle would give you a coupon for a free burrito–their way of apologizing for crushing your Tex Mex dreams.

I texted the number, and, of course, tried to get everyone I knew who didn’t care much for Chipotle to text the number as well, so I could get their coupon. Unfortunately, it turns out I don’t make friends with people who don’t eat Chipotle, a catch-22 for me during that situation.

Nonetheless, I got my coupon and used it almost immediately, since my craving had not yet been satisfied from that nightmare of a day.

It was beautiful. I got my burrito, my little tortilla-wrapped baby of deliciousness. Guacamole wasn’t even extra! It felt like heaven.

However, with every up comes a down.

I went on my search for that mouthwatering jalapeño sauce to douse my bundle of joy and, to my horror, they were completely out. I asked the cashier if there were any hiding in the back, fully prepared to grab it right in front of his face and run. Alas, no jalapeño sauce.

I’m sorry, but I was not about to let Chipotle break my heart again.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice and I will steal your jalapeño sauce.

Being in New York, I was able to find a Chipotle only an avenue away. It makes me wonder what someone in a smaller city would have done. Would they have just cried into their free burrito? It pains me to think about it.

I was able to walk into another crowded Chipotle and grab a bottle like I owned the place. I grabbed it looking a stranger straight in the eyes with a face of determination that no one was willing to mess with.

I got back to my office feeling fully accomplished. I ate that burrito as if it were trying to escape from me; it never tasted better.

The bottle still sits in my office as a trophy to my bravery. Thanks Chipotle!

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