Abolish The Wrap

Not too long ago, Rudy Raya, a livid Mexican food enthusiast writing for Vice, berated the masses for our overindulgence and sick love for burritos. Burritos, he argued, are inauthentic and lazy, and too often filled with sub-par, flavorless ingredients. He urged his readership to walk away from burritos forever.

Obviously he was wrong. The burrito, though perhaps a bastardization of authentic Mexican Cuisine, we can at least agree is usually pretty delicious. Even a mediocre burrito just ain’t all that bad (just ask our BTR resident burrito specialist, who has eaten over 100 this year alone!)

That said, one of Raya’s main crux of contention with the burrito is the very thing which holds it all together. He writes, “The tortillas that are manufactured for burritos in America are unearthly creations, closer to the consistency of bubblegum than anything resembling a flour tortilla.” And he has a point.

Flour tortillas are used for something else too. Something far more atrocious. The wrap.

Now, I’m not talking about just anything that’s rolled up. Hand-rolls, spring-rolls, egg-rolls, summer-rolls; all of these are glorious. I’m looking at the unfortunate Chicken Ceasar Salad wrap, the Southwestern wrap, the sad Hummus Carrot and Lettuce wrap from your local coffee shop.

Wraps are one of those faux-healthy choice options which offer no redeeming factors. They’re sandwiches, but worse. Burritos, but gross. They’re stuffed with whatever, wherever, and more often than not the bland exterior overshadows any semblance of tastiness which might’ve laid within.

You get a wrap from the deli counter at your gym, or your weird gas-station cafe combo. They are a food with scarcely a leg to stand on. Show me a wrap that beats even the lamest Bahn Mi, and I’ll change my tune. But, till then, I declare that wraps are a food that should hence-forth cease to exist. Help me comrades, spread the message.

LONG LIVE THE BURRITO! ALL HAIL THE SANDWICH! DOWN WITH WRAPS!

Featured photo by Oliver Hallmann.

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