Gross Holiday Foods

There are a lot of delicious foods to look forward to this holiday season, but there are also a few that I wouldn’t mind cutting down from once a year, to zero. Here’s the grub that I’m leaving off my wish:

1. Sugar Cookies:
I know this might not be a popular one to diss, but let’s all be honest with ourselves. Sugar Cookies are just not that good! There are so many cookies that are oozy and chewy and salty-sweet and delish! So, don’t waste your time or stomach space on these. It’s all in the name; “sugar” isn’t a flavor folks, where’s the dimension?

2. Fruit Cake
Everybody knows that fruit cake is really just a rock passing as a food. Just make a gosh-darn pie instead.

3. Green Bean Casserole
Maybe I can’t speak as an authority on this one, because I’ve never actually tasted it, but just looking at a plate of Green Bean Casserole I can tell that it’s probably gross. Even if it is super delicious, I refuse to get behind a dish that centers around foods found exclusively in cans or freezers.

4. Spiral Ham
Okay, okay, spiral ham is totally yummy. But can’t we all agree that it’s a little weird that it comes pre-cooked and pre-sliced, identical to each of it’s brothers and sisters? It’s kind of like a huge log of sandwich meat that you heat up. Think about that.

5. Yule Log
And speaking of logs…any food named after a tree trunk should be avoided at all costs. Why would we want our food to resemble a deep dark forrest? I don’t want to eat a tree trunk, and neither should you.

Featured photo courtesy of Ringo Ichigo.