The Doughrito

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There’s something called a Doughrito, and it’s very existence makes me want to stab my eyes out, or simply cry for one million years.

Leave it to California, and a place called Surfin’ Donuts, to create what is perhaps the most evil invention to ever find it’s way into the hands and mouths of this country’s fair citizens.

The Doughrito is exactly what its name suggests. A breakfast burrito, constructed within a doughnut. The thought of it brings dread to my mind and heartburn to my chest.

See, I’m not a big fan of hybrid, fusion foods. Why can’t we just leave these pure, perfect, and delicious entities alone? Why can we not allow the burrito and the doughnut to live out their experiences in perpetuity, yet also in complete and utter isolation from one another? It makes no sense! Or does it…

The more I think about the sweet, yet mild, flavor of a balanced donut mixing together with the saltiness of crispy bacon and the ooziness of runny eggs, the more I feel the disgust in the pit of my stomach shifting–slowly but surely–to hunger.

Could it be? Could the Doughrito be the food which proves me wrong; the invention that causes me not just to eat my words, but also to eat a fusion food and enjoy it?

Until this mysterious breakfast item hits NYC, I guess I’ll never know.