Ketchup Is Terrifying

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One of my best friends has a younger brother: he’s 16, uncomfortably tall, and won’t eat anything unless it has ketchup on it. Yes, that’s right–he essentially won’t touch food unless the sauce is nearby. Steak, eggs, even pasta!

I myself have always had a bit of a complex relationship with the condiment. On the one hand, I find it a crucial addition to fries, hamburgers, etc. However, to me Ketchup out of context is unnerving and at times downright disgusting.

I think my aversion traces back to a half-baked science experiment a classmate and I took on in the 5th grade; when we stained white T-shirts with Hershey’s chocolate syrup and ketchup, then tested detergents to see which removed the stain more effectively. Spoiler: the shirts were ruined and smelly and the stain-removers didn’t do shit, and I was forever scarred by the smell of dried ketchup.

Which is why a newly surfaced video that shows exactly how ketchup is made, (in gigantic batches, with vats and gloves and huge stirring paddles, accompanied by a sterile narration) is pretty much my worst nightmare.

It’s almost enough to turn me off of the stuff forever. See for yourself!