KFC Launches Fried Chicken Sunscreen

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As summer comes to a close, and everything beautiful and true fades away before your very eyes, it’s only fitting that something wicked this way comes. That something may as well be the devil incarnate, for it is so wrong, so perverse, and so utterly baffling that it’s hard to believe that it’s real.

KFC has created a sunscreen, the scent of which is based off of their famous Fried Chicken. I kid you not, it exists, and it’s called Extra Crispy Sunscreen. Yes–a solution that you apply to your skin while you bake in the sun will cause your very limbs to emit a fragrance that will cause you to want to consume them.

Let’s not even get into the bizarre, and perhaps sociopathic, train of thought that led KFC to believe that it was a good idea for a consumer to smell like the food they wish to ingest. Instead, let’s reflect on who in their right mind would use such a product! Only a monster! Right?

The product is a promotional tool, albeit an unorthodox one, and it’s only available through KFC’s giveaway. Not for purchase. The chain has also hinted at producing an edible, Chicken scented nail-polish; that’s “finger lickin’ good!”

Kill me now. The apocalypse is clearly imminent.