The Wonderful World of Crockpots

I just got a crockpot. Well, technically it’s a “slowcooker” since it isn’t Crockpot brand. But, oh damn, am I going to crock the shit out of that pot. I guess that sounds gross, and also makes no sense, but I’m sticking with it because I’ve got a new kitchen toy and I’m darn excited!

Lately I’ve been loving cooking meat low and slow in my oven, creating the tenderest protein imaginable. But the oven method has some shortcomings: the most dire of which being that you pretty much have to be available to tend to the dish at any given moment. You don’t have to check on it per se, but it’s not exactly recommended that you leave your oven on and go out and about for the day while your pork roast cooks. Why? Because you could burn your house down, and not even the juiciest pulled pork is worth that risk.

Enter the crockpot. The beauty of it lies in the fact that it is designed with your busy schedule in mind! You can leave it cooking overnight or during the day while you run errands or hang out with friends, and then you can COME HOME AND YOUR DINNER WILL BE READY.

It also has the added bonus of making me feel like a bit of a 1950s housewife. Of course this trope is riddled with problematic insinuations, but for some reason I really do like to imagine myself donning an apron and cooking some beef bourguignon on a weeknight. Can you blame me?

Perhaps crockpots aren’t the sexiest sounding appliance imaginable, but oh man, they do present a whole lot of options. You can make stews, soups, oatmeal, even bread! I’d like to consider this new toy a necessary step in building my dream kitchen. Next, I need a mortar and pestle, a set of fancy steak knives, a hand-mixer, and a juicer, please! I’m accepting donations!