KFC Releases Chicken Scented Candle

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KFC has done it. They’ve developed a way to integrate the intoxicating scent of fried chicken into your daily life, without having you stuff your face with greasy fatty fried chicken. Though, if you’re like me, you fucking love stuffing your face with greasy fatty fried chicken.

It’s festive, it’s tasty, it’s fragrant! It’s a goddamn scented candle, that smells like KFC fried chicken. This is not a drill, this is real life, and it’s extraordinary.

This isn’t the first time that KFC has gone outside of average marketing for their famous chicken. A few months back, the chain came out with a sunscreen and a line of nail polish that secreted the special secret chicken scent.

These specialty products are largely promotional, and therefore are only distributed to a very lucky (?) few customers. The Chicken Candle is no exception.

And, unfortunately, the opportunity to receive one has already come and gone! The candle was made in a very limited supply, and distributed to only the customers who were quick enough, and clever enough, to participate in KFC’s interactive giveaway contest. All customers had to do was comment on a picture of the photo with their cockamamie ideas for new, boundary-pushing KFC merchandise.

I might’ve missed the boat on this one, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have some great ideas to contribute to the forum! I can think of all sorts of products that KFC should whip up! They should probably be paying me for this type of brilliant intellectual contribution, but, whatever I’ll let them have this one as a freebie.

Fried Chicken scented body lotion: this way your boyfriend or girlfriend will simply want to eat you up! Yum!

How about Chicken scented incense? I suppose that serves roughly the same purpose as a candle, but perhaps adds a slightly meditative vibe to the whole thing?

It’s cold season, and gee wiz wouldn’t it make getting over your sniffles all that much better if instead of Vick’s Vapor Rub there was KFC Chicken Rub to smear on your chest? Delish!

There you have it KFC; I’ll accept my payment in the form of free chicken for life, thank you.