Fucked in Park Slope - "FIPS had a cronut...and didn't even have to wait on line."

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Photo credit: @agreenberg via Twitter
Look, I know the cronut craze is totally ridiculous, and has nothing to do with Park Slope, but when a friend put the word out on Facebook that he had cronuts to spare, I figured it was my duty to throw myself at his mercy, beg for his leftovers, and share the experience with you. Also, nothing else of import happened this weekend, so this is all I’ve got.
Did you know that waiting on a ridiculous 2 hour line at 6:30 a.m. is not the only way to get your hands on a cronut? Apparently, you can call on Mondays at 11 a.m. to pre-order these tasty morsels. From the Dominque Ansel bakery website:

Every Monday at 11am, we open up pre-orders by phone ONLY to the bakery at 212.219.2773. Please keep in mind we are taking pre-orders for up to two weeks in advance. Currently pre-order lists are full. The limit per person for pre-orders is 6 Cronuts. If the phone is busy or has a “mailbox if full” message, we are simply on the call with another customer, please do call back. Pre-order lists fill up very quickly, and we recommend this only as a last option. We can only take one pre-order per call.

So obnoxious. But, this is what my friend did, and he picked up 6 of the blackberry lime cronuts Sunday morning. I have to admit, these things are pretty freaking amazing. They remind me more of a donut/elephant ear* hybrid than a donut/croissant. The donutty exterior was sugary, like the sugar coated donuts at the farmer’s market, and there was a blackberry cream inside — a donut jizz, if you will — that pushed the whole experience to the limits of indulgence.

All of the adults and kids alike who sampled the treats exlaimed “Oh. My. G-d.” upon first bite. And all of us felt like that one bite, though insanely delicious, was probably enough. Still. We had a whole cronut left. What to do? The website warns against refrigeration, “as the humidity from the refrigerator will cause them to go stale and soggy.” Wouldn’t want that to happen! We had no other choice but to scarf the whole thing down immediately.
Bottom line: the cronuts rock…especially if someone else does all the hard work for you.
* Yeah, yeah “palmier” you fucking snobs.
Courtesy of Fucked in Park Slope.

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