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Your weekly dose of downright baffling current events, accompanied by scathing commentary -- you might be shocked, but never disappointed.

Mediocre White Guy Gives Up On ‘Hot Women’

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Apr 15, 2017

Watch out hot ladies. This dude isn't interested in you anymore.

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Pepsi Proves Capitalism Is Evil

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Apr 8, 2017

Pepsi's "resistance" themed ad was a disgrace. But are we really that surprised?

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April Fools Actually Sucks

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Apr 1, 2017

Everything is terrible and none of it is a joke.

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“It’s a Cool Story” and Other Insane Quotes From Trump’s Time Interview

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Mar 25, 2017

Trump began his Time interview by expressing his excitement to participate, because, "It's a cool story," and ended it by telling the interviewer "I'm president, and you're not."

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Goodwill Employees Find a Bunch of Weed

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Mar 18, 2017

Ever forget you had four pounds of weed and accidentally donate it to Goodwill? Well, somebody did.

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Sweet Angel Divine, an Actual Person, Dies

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Mar 11, 2017

This nonagenarian passed away, but not before living a pretty unusual life.

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Love Is Dead

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Mar 4, 2017

Just kidding. But author Amy Kraus Rosenthal almost is, and she wants some lucky lady to step in and scoop up her loving husband Jason after she's gone.

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This Dude Wants You to Glue Your Vagina Shut

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Feb 25, 2017

Dr. Dan Dopps has come up with a “revolutionary” alternative menstrual product. It's one that is literally designed to seal together the “the lips down-under during the period.” THIS IS REAL, PEOPLE.

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Scientists Are Attempting To Reanimate Woolly Mammoths

by Rebecca Chodorkoff | Feb 18, 2017

Scientists are attempting to splice woolly mammoth DNA into that of elephants...

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