This Penis Survey Says A Lot (possibly NSFW)

A redditor asked 220 women from NSFW subreddits like r/GoneWild about the length of the biggest penis they’ve encountered, the smallest, their ideal length, their current partner’s length if applicable and their number of male partners. It wasn’t the most scientific survey, but it highlighted a lot of the misconceptions we still carry about what does and doesn’t matter in a penis.

Most r/DataIsBeautiful users suggested that the numbers showed the unreliability of user-reported data in this subject. For example, women reported their partners have the ideal penis size (seven inches), which is also above the reported average (six inches). It’s also conveniently about the size of their current partners.

Screenshot courtesy of Reddit user thepollmaster

But since it’s unlikely most of these women whipped out rulers when the penis was rock-hard, they likely eyeballed it or asked their partner for his number. Which, and you could practically hear the laughter in the comments section, he probably exaggerated.

Screenshot courtesy of Reddit user thepollmaster

What’s more, considering the average penis size in the U.S. is around 5.5 inches, most dudes on the subreddit adamantly disbelieved most of the women who claimed to have had sex with a ten inch penis.

One user theorized “maybe the woman’s ideal size is dictated by whether they are happy with their current partners size.” “gtjack9” may have missed a great pun, “dicktated,” but their theory is sound. Some refer to it as “boyfriend dick,” which means a dick that fits your vagina’s specific size, shape and curvature, all of which varies between women as much as penis size and shape does between men. Additionally, vaginas are elastic, which means they stretch and tighten. Contrary to a myth that refuses to die, a woman’s vagina does not get looser with every new penis. A lady’s bits will grow to love your penis as it is. So stop fretting about the size of her ex’s.

Several users warned against exaggerating your own size to a potential hookup. They’ll find out soon anyway and then what didn’t have to be an awkward situation becomes very uncomfortable.

Even worse than exaggerating your own size might be overestimating someone else’s. Reddit user Boon_backwards had a former one night stand recommend him to their friend but “overestimated my dick by almost 2 inches. Not a humblebrag, quite a big blow to self-esteem to drop trou and see instant disappointment on said friend’s face.” Maybe the one night stand thought they were doing him a favor, or more likely, they just made an overzealous estimation. Let’s hope they were just so distracted by Boon_backwards’s sexual prowess to grab the ruler.

Some users suggested the surveyed asked the wrong questions. It’s a misconception that length is paramount in the dick olympics. Most ladies agree, girth is what counts. Or a combination of girth and length plus the degree of shaft curvature, size of the head (or lack thereof), firmness and if any surrounding hair or fat obscures some of the length. There are some variables, is what I’m saying. It’s no wonder you need a protractor and scale in addition to a tape measure to figure it all out.

Of course, if fibbing an extra inch or two makes you feel better—no shade, the patriarchy is hard on men too—go for it. Female user Depressed-Londoner says your lady probably won’t notice the difference between five or six inches anyway. “In my personal experience almost all penises look around the same size, which I would estimate as being around 5 inches. Size is only noticeable if it is very small (in which case it is going to keep falling out) or very large (in which case it isn’t going to fit).”

It “keeps falling out” may sound disheartening but think of it this way: with skill and patience (plus the addition of lube, fingers and mouths), a penis of any size is great. So worry less about convincing someone that four inches is really seven inches and focus on putting that four inches to good use.

Screenshot courtesy of Reddit user thepollmaster

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