The Kinky Star Wars Sex Toys For Your Inner Sith

The light side of the Force might not win this time if nerdy sex toy purveyors, Geeky Sex Toys, can help it.

In time for the release of The Last Jedi, they’ve a new line of kinky Star Wars toys that takes things to a darker new level.

The brand already has an established fan base thanks to their franchise-specific lines, including “Dick and Horny,” “Orgasms of the Galaxy,” and “Pokemoan.” As for their Star Wars toys, they’ve already got lightsaber dildos, an R2-V2 vibrating wand and a C3-Plug. Yes, that last one is a gold buttplug with C-3PO’s face on the end. When I asked Geeky Sex Toys why him, out of the entire Star Wars canon, they said “Turns out a lot of people wanted C3-Plug to be a butt plug… so we delivered.” So my question is: what is wrong with you people?

Why?

But to each their own. Fans requested villain-centric Star Wars toys and Geeky Sex Toys delivered.

Penetrable Hand Solo
This masturbation sleeve resembles frozen Han Solo. Yikes. But this is a great choice for the blossoming Sith dominatrix looking to punish her sub. Any sexual predator gets his dick shoved in carbonite.

Dildoda
This dildo is Yoda-green, ridged just like the little Jedi master’s head. After using it, you will feel instantly stronger and capable of Jedi mind-tricking your sub into (consensually) doing anything you want.

Laser Sword Flogger
This black and red faux leather flogger resembles the red lightsabers of the Sith Lords. Use it every time your sub spoils something from the movie.

Space Station Ball Gag
The ball is the Death Star. The description calls it “A fully operational ball gag with enough power to silence your rebel sub.” An excellent choice if your sub talks in the theater.

Dark Side Bondage Kit
This six-piece bondage kit includes the Space Station Ball Gag and Laser Sword Flogger plus a Masquerade Mask, collar and leash, and cuffs for wrists and ankles. All in the black and red theme of the dark side. For those with an extra unruly Sith-in-Training.

Vibe Trooper and Darth Vibrator (a staff favorite)
The magic wand is already an overwhelmingly powerful vibrator. Imagine adding the power of the force. You’ll bring Jedis over to the dark side in no time.

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